I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
