finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize