yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
