I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize