u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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