This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
