TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I am naked and annoyed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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