remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Your cock deserves a montage
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
