he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize