We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need to sanitize my soul.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize