Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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