This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
