Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
