Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
