I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
