This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
