did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
