Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
