i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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