Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
