he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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