My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
