I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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