My nipple is on Facebook.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
