A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
