nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
