there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize