I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
