i need an iv and a liver transplant
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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