this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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