one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
