you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
