okay pat passed out under dana's car
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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