So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
