FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
