And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
