I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
