My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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