Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
