whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
