At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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