Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
