Everything about him screamed your future.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Terrible idea I love it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
