Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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