hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
