He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
