last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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