You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
