can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
