god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
