dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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