Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
