I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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