If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
