Me too!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
