I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
