living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
