I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
